An experience not to be missed

I am painfully like a womanfish who has decided that now is time to look
the sea in its face.

All flexed and anguished, she wrings her fins and spreads them wide- to no
avail, she only surfaces between two waves and still has no wings.

It still makes me drool (H moans), the minute I open my mouth I dribble
metaphors, “forest”, “narrative”, “womanfish”, it is all pretend, taking
advantage of my disarray, because I have no idea how to get out while
staying in, I don’t know how, I don’t want to enough, I am so happy in the
intoxicating and cosmic womb of the present! And yet I want to present this
present- to whom?- to those I love, because to my mind, it is a realm worth
giving, it is an inner India, a natural place, a country of magnificent
contours- in short, all I want to say, very quickly, before the metaphors
swoop straight down on my heart to steal its blood, is that I have stirred
up, so potent and nascent, a life that never stops bursting into lives,
into shouts of life, into tears of life, into laughs of life, into songs of
life, into terrors of life

the entrance, naturally, is close by, just like in stories and like in
reality, it is extremely close, it is right here, here in the garden, even
closer, in the house, in the breast, even closer? – even closer…

(moans H, body arched, scales glittering with sweat, fins spread wide,
gills throbbing, trying, at the risk of bursting, to make the transition
from the realm of water to the realm of words)

… I did not know this existed… this world, I did not know. I thought it
only existed in one´s head, and in dreams…. And now: here I am.

- Hélène Cixous